To My Dear Friend

While at the cabin this past summer my mom came across a garbage bag full of stuff.  Most people probably would have peeked inside and when they realized that it was just a bunch of junk they hadn't seen in years- thrown it out.  Not my mom- she spend a good hour or two digging through the bag looking for treasures.  Don't judge- we all have our things.

Inside the garbage bag she found this

It doesn't have a date on it so I am not sure as to when this was filled out but it was something that I was working on for Vickey- my BFF.  (there is a copyright date inside dated 1996)

Printed on the inside of the book it reads:

Dear Friend, 

Among life's sweetest blessings lie enduring friendships such as ours.  We have been friends for a long time.  We get together, we reminisce and had we the time, we would happily uncover a lifetime-myriad of shared experiences.

Through this little book, I intend to take the time.  It will be for you, then, to enjoy.  But in the writing, I will first have the joy of taking a wonderful trip backward through the years.  And as I journey into the memories, I will be reminded again and again that knowing you has been one of God's great gifts to my life.

Forever Friends

Then the pages are dated- one for each day of the year.  Each day contains a statement or fill-in-the-blank type of question/memory.

A lot of the pages are filled out and when I started flipping through the dirty pages I couldn't help but laugh.  First of all, my writing looks like it was done by a child.  I have always hated my writing and realizing that this was written out when I was out of high school- how embarrassing!

Then as I sat outside in the yard reading some of these memories, I would find myself starting to crack up and when I looked around to find someone that could relate to me, someone else that would remember that time, no one was there.

I often get really down about how my relationships with my friends have turned out. 

Not just friends from the past but recent relationships too.

People change and friendships change.  I understand that it is inevitable as we grow up and grow apart.  It still bothers me though.  It still makes me sad.

I am not naive enough to expect that things wouldn't have changed but I think I had higher expectations.   I always imagined that the friends I grew up with would be the friends I would have forever.  I am sure that we have all felt this way at one time or another and have been disappointed when it didn't turn out.  

 I know a lot of people and I have a lot of friends.  I am truly blessed and have met so many great people in my lifetime but I miss having 'lifetime history' with people.  Years ago when we would hang out with Gretchen, Troy, Stacey, and Shane they would reminisce about the 'good 'ol days'  They have known each other since high school-ish and have spent many years together before I came along.  We have made tons of memories since then but their fondest always seem to be 'those days'.  As much as I didn't want it to, it made me feel left out.  As they would laugh and joke about those times I would think about the memories and stories that I have from those days and then feel even worse realizing that most of those people in my memories are still a major part of my life.

As I look at how my life has turned out, I can't imagine doing anything differently.  If things wouldn't have gone the way they did, I may not have met Brian and I would have never been blessed with Hannah and Hailey (the perfect combination of Brian and I- truly).  If things didn't change- they wouldn't be where they are and have the things they have so, for that I have no regrets.

But, what I do regret is thinking that it's too late.  For allowing to let so much time get in between us and not making more of an effort to connect.  I miss my friends- new and old.  Things haven't been the same in the past few years and it is starting to feel all too familiar.

I want to get better at making an effort to reconnect and even though it won't change overnight- I need to do something.  Thanks to Facebook we are able to connect with people from our past but it's not the same.

One small step will be to reconnect with these memories and friends over the course of this year in this blog.  I at the very least want to honor these friendships by recording some of my favorite memories. 

Here's one to get me started..... (straight from the book)

Vickey Novak (Greene)

Vickey and I met in preschool when we were 3 or 4 (or so I am told).  My first memory of her is driving past her house (she lived at the end of the block behind our house) and seeing her jump roping in her blue and white dress with adorable pigtail braids.  I remember asking my mom about her and mom telling me her name.  We ended up at the bus stop together and I am pretty sure that we spent almost everyday together until we were teenagers.  I remember being the only girls invited to Tyler Peterson's Birthday party and playing Fox in the Hound in his backyard.

As we grew up together our favorite thing to to was play Barbies.

Inside, outside, my house, her house, didn't matter- as long as we were together.  It felt like we had a sleepover almost every Friday or Saturday night and even though I am sure that we didn't, I would argue to this day that it was every weekend during the summer.

I remember one time when we were a little older we wanted to toilet paper someone's house so in the middle of the night we went out to the yard and TP'd her house.  Her mom figured out it was us (I am sure that was NOT hard) and made us clean it up.  I don't remember her getting mad, I seem to remember that she made fun of us instead- I miss Mary!

 We had the best neighborhood ever!  Jenny K, Tory, Miles, Tim, Jason, Jessica, Dan, Andy, Bob, Carmen, Steve, Vickey, Kari, and I.  MAN- we had a good time back then.

I'd love to organize a neighborhood reunion sometime!