Something's missing

Something is missing as I look at the couch tonight.

Usually that is where Nash is resting, waiting for us.

I carry Hannah up to bed, he perks up on the couch and as soon as he sees us he hops off the couch and makes his way to the door to go out. 

But not tonight.

Around 3 o'clock today Brian noticed that Nash was acting strange.  He was standing out in the yard panting.  His body was frozen and he wouldn't come when called.  His back was arched and he appeared to be in pain.  He eventualy hobbled over to the stairs and limped his way up the deck and into the house.

We stood in the living room watching him stand in the middle of the room.  As though his legs were glued to the floor.  It was obvious that something was wrong.

We got him back outside and this time I followed him into the yard.  I was able to get him to walk to me and then helped him to lay down.  He was hot to the touch and continued to pant.  I was trying to get his attention and see if we could get a reaction from him.  We started with his 'trigger words' (bone, eat, ride, frisbee).  Nothing.  I sat in the grass petting him and rubbing his head.  Each time I would get near his backside he would moan (sounded like a little growl). 

Friday night Nash was diagnosed with a urniary tract infection.  He was put on antibiotics.  We figured that he was having a reaction or the meds he was given were not working.

Brian called the ER and within 30 minutes they were on their way to see the doctor.

5:09 pm I recieved the devestating news.

He's gone.

During a full body scan the vet found a huge tumor attached to Nash's spleen.  It was obviously the cause of his strange behvaior.  We will never know for sure just what happened with the tumor today that turned things so bad so fast. 

Had no idea when I snapped this picture today that it would be the last picture I would ever take of him

Hannah:  "MOM!  Why are you crying?"

Me:  "Oh Honey, I don't think Nash is going to come home with daddy tonight."

Hannah ran off....disappeared into the house

She appeared a few minutes later carrying Kleenex for me

Hannah:  "It's ok mom.  Nash will be back with dad.  The doctor can't keep him."

Me:  "No, Nash is really sick.  He's dying sweetie."

Hannah:  "Does he ever get to undie?"

Me:  "No honey."

Hannah:  "That's sad."

She then ran over to the bush by the front of the house and picked these flowers to make me feel better.

30 minutes later Brian pulled into the driveway. The kids yelled "Daddy!" as they do each time he comes home- standard greeting.  When his truck pulled all the way into the garage we could see that the back of the truck was closed.  Nash was there when they left but now daddy was holding his collar in his hand.

Hannah burst into tears "I miss Nashie!".

The rest of the night Hailey spent the evening talking to 'Pretend Nash' and assuring Brian and I that "Nashie come back.  No cry."

Things will be different around here as we all adjust to life without Nash.  We are gonna miss you buddy...