31 Things | Day 18, 19, 20, 21

SHOES 

My shoe size is either an 8, 8 ½, or a 9.  Size 9 typically only for flip flops.  Never wore a pair of flip flops until my adult years.  It’s like drinking coffee- everyone tells you you’ll hate it at first but they will grow on you.  Well, they did- they are now my go-to shoes when I am not at work.

 I have a lot of shoes.  Heels, flats, tennis shoes- casual and running, slip ons, flip flops, sandals, and boots.

I typically wear the same ten pair.  I have 9-10 pairs (at least) that I have bought and have never even worn once.  I think it’s time to either put them on or donate them.

My taste in shoes is much broader than my collection.  I love looking at shoes.  I love seeing a pair of shoes and thinking how cute they would look with such-and-such outfit but rarely spend money to purchase new shoes.  That’s one area that I don’t think that I go overboard in however, my husband might disagree.  Remember….lots of shoes, only wear the same ten- many that I have never worn even once.

I will get myself excited to go out and buy shoes but then when I imagine spending the money on them it starts to make me feel uneasy.  Not sure where I get this from and why I act this way. 

 I need to invest in a new pair of black boots.  These days all of the boots are tall- come to middle of calf.  I need something a little taller than ankle but a little lower than mid-calf.  It used to be the only height that you could find but styles are changing and now those (like midrise jeans) are hard to come by.  I have a little trouble changing along with the style.  I think taller boots are absolutely adorable but when I just want to wear them to work under a pair of black dress pants I need something more sleek and lower so I don’t have to invest in knee-high socks for everyday use.

In the spring, fall and winter I wear black boots to work almost every day.  In the summer I have a pair of flats and another pair of black wedge sandals that I wear almost every day.

Hailey-Monster- you LOVE shoes.  Right now you love wearing flip flops most.  You also love wearing your sister’s shoes and the dress up shoes that came in the dress up trunk full of clothes.

Hannah Bean- you take time when you are getting dressed to pick shoes that are ‘just right’ for your mood and your outfit.  Currently we argue every morning about the tall black boots that you want to wear to Jackie’s.  Hard for you to understand that they aren’t made for the sandy park.

LISTEN

I listen for the clickety clack on the hardwood floor and I don’t hear it.

I listen for the dog food hitting Nash’s bowl- the noise that I have heard every morning for the last 12 years and I don’t hear it.

 I listen for Nash licking himself as he lays at the end of our bed and I don’t hear it. 

 I listen to Brian tell me the story of what happened at the puppy ER today, about the tumor that was found and the events that happened the last few moments of Nash’s life.  We will miss you buddy…

 I listen to the sound of the water squirting out of the sprinklers and think about how beautiful our lawn already looks and it’s only June.

I listen to the goal horns, organ music, excitement of the announcers and referee whistles as the NHL season finally comes to an end.  Sports are always on at our house.

 I listen to Dick and Bert as they talk about the new Twins ballpark and the events happening in today’s game.  It’s comforting.  It just feels right listening to them and having them on.  If we aren’t watching the game, you can at least bet it’s providing the background noise.

 I listen to my phone vibrate on the counter.  I am reminded about just how connected we all are.  I reach for my phone and wish I could disconnect.

 

I listen to the sound of my fingers twirling through my hair.  I have done this since I was a young girl.  I prefer the top layers of hair and the top of my head, right at the crown (where my hair parts just right) is my favorite spot.

 I listen to the bathroom fan as I find a minute to myself. 

I listen to the knocks on the door when the girls realize I am hiding out in the bathroom looking for a minute to myself.

I listen to Hailey say things like “Hannah, you best friend ever!”, “Mommy, Hannah no yike (like) me.”, “Dude”, “Mom, you pretty” and I am in awe of how a few months ago we were concerned about whether or not she would be behind in her talking.  She clearly proved us wrong.

I listen to Hannah sing to herself as she walks through the house or cleans her room without being asked. 

I listen to Hannah express her feelings by describing them as “189 (clearly the biggest number ever in her world)”.

I listen to myself cry at night.  Sometimes out of frustration, sometimes out of sadness, sometimes out of joy and amazement.

 

CARRY

My shoulders hurt.

They ache almost every day and I am sure it has something to do with all of the stuff that I lug around.

I almost always carry a purse.  I have a lot of different purses.  Small ones, large ones, medium ones, black ones, red ones, tan ones.  Ones with zippers, ones with pockets.  Some with one strap, some with two.  Some are old and some are new.

In my purse you will always find my cell phone, loose change, keys, a pen, loose receipts, coupons- usually the ones that come in the mail as part of a postcard or flyer, lists- shopping and to do, my checkbook, and my badge for work.  You may also find items that have fallen off one of the kids- headband, pony holder, barrette, sock, or sunglasses- two girls means sometimes you will find multiples of these items.

True story- one time while cleaning out my purse I found a French Fry.

I clean out my purse often but obviously not often enough since it is usually a mess and hard to find things. 

 

Since I am being honest I should probably admit that I enjoy the cleaning-the-purse-ritual.  It’s liberating going through the stuff in there and throwing out most of the items that are swimming around loose and unattended.  The first day of the clean purse is always enjoyable but it never lasts too long.  My purses are usually so big that I find lots of reasons to just throw things in there just to go through them later.  I definitely get this from my mom…

I also carpool with a ‘work bag’.  This bag sits in the passenger seat of my car every day.  It travels with me to and from work.

 Inside of this work bag you will find stuff.  Just random things that apparently don’t have much meaning since days will go by and this bag won’t open.   I think there are notes in there from recent meetings I have attended.   I am sure there are more receipts, more coupons, more loose change and more contraband that was pulled from one of the girls on the way into daycare.

 I never spend a lot of money on any one bag- I like to have options and would get bored with the same old bag each day.

 I want to get better at only carrying the things that I need and keeping my purse more tidy.

 I know my shoulders would appreciate it.

THINK

I’m tired and my head hurts from thinking too much.

Am I making the right decisions and doing the right things? 

Am I raising my kids right?

Are people happy with me? 

Am I doing a good job at work?

Is he/she mad at me?  

 Should I do more of ?

Should I do less of ?    

I wish I was more like . 

I should be . 

Why am I doing when I should be doing ? 

I wonder what is up to?

I should connect with .

We need .

What should we have for supper?  I really should be doing a better job at planning a menu for the week.

How can I be a better mother?

How can I be a better wife?

How can I be a better friend?

Wonder if I am doing anything to motivate others?

I should really be . 

It never stops.

I make lists to try to keep it all straight.

To do lists

Shopping lists

Work project lists

Home project lists

Crafting lists- things I want to make or pages I need to do

Lists of websites I want to browse

People I need to call lists

Ways I want to better myself lists

Meetings I need to schedule lists

Lists of my thoughts and cards I want to send

I wonder how much of this is normal and how many others feel the same way.

I often wish that I could experience a calm mind every once in a while.  Or at least a moment where things waited for their turn and didn’t all just rush in at the same time, overwhelming me with thoughts.

I think it’s time to make a list and set some goals.