Today was my first real day of vacation- the day that I had been dreaming about since May 7th.
My scrapbooking day!
Sure I have had days off but they were consumed with running errands, cleaning the house, sorting through things, going to the lake, laundry, etc. Today was the first day ALL FOR ME. Wasn't going to leave the house. Wasn't going to turn on the TV. Just me and my paper.
It didn't go so well.
I got started around 8:00 am.
Where to start? Hmmmm, since I am real far behind on Hailey's book I figured that that would be a good place to get started.
Ultrasounds pics. We have a good story with all that we went through, etc. We have lots of ultrasound pictures, perfect. I will start there. Now only if I could find where I put the details of those horrific days after we found out we were pregnant......
No luck. I thought I had kept the links to the baby site that I was updating on. I thought I had printed or kept the emails that I had sent to friends and family. Not anywhere to be found. *sigh*
During the process I emailed Kari and within an hour or so she was able to dig up a few emails and things that will help once I find the inspiration to go back to that page.
Ok, I know, I will start on Hailey's room then jump into her month by month pages.
I got my Diet Coke, opened the windows, turned on the iPod and sat. I sat and stared at the pictures, the supplies, the computer.....nothing. Is this was creators block feels like?
I thought if I looked through a book or some paper that I would get inspired. No such luck.
I have not one idea. Not even one.
No layout ideas, no color schemes I wanted to try. Couldn't even find one embellishment cute enough to motivate me. I spent the better part of the day frustrated.
Maybe I just need to go through my pictures and sort out the pictures that I want to use and decide once and for all which pages I even want or need to make instead of trying to jump right in.....make my time worthwhile. That didn't go so well either.
I have stacks and stacks and stacks of pictures. (and stacks)
I started getting a headache. Then I started thinking to myself what I NEVER thought I would EVER think.
What is the point of this? Why am I scrapbooking when I am blogging?!
Why am I spending all of this time putting together a book of taped down photographs when I can blog and tell stories (with pictures) that I can later print.
I am feeling defeated today.
I actually had to think - am I done scrapbooking? Am I over it?
For today? Yes. For ever? No.
As I started putting my things away to get ready to go and get the girls, I remembered that I have to go into work tomorrow and suddenly my mood changed. I have a pit in my stomach and am starting to feel anxious.
Wonder what that means?
2 comments:
It means nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G. It's the normal adjustment feeling going from one mode to another. Don't sweat it. Tomorrow will come and you'll be fine and then you'll enjoy a few more days off and then it'll be back to the routine...and you'll probably feel it again when you're done with your vacation. What will really help? Commenting on my blog, of course. ha ha ha. Seriously, totally normal feelings. What you probably really need is a couple of hours and really good dorky movie. That fixes everything.
I agree about the scrapbooking thing. I love it, but sometimes wonder what the whole point is. It used to just make me so happy, but now it sometimes feels like I'm going to be judged or something. It's usually a fleeting thought - once I staple something (anything!) down to the page I start to get excited again, but I totally understand where you're coming from!
Post a Comment