Just read it

Tonight Hannah and I were catching up on Kari's blog : http://www.writinginthemiddle.blogspot.com/

They are going to be here in 3 weeks and I am so excited I can hardly stand it!

The post we finished on tonight was called 'Practice Makes Perfect' and it was about Kas and Tin practicing their egg-on-a-spoon carry for an upcoming birthday party that they were going to.

I asked Hannah if she wanted to type them a message.

She started pounding away at the keyboard as she tilted her head side to side.

Wonder what was going on in there?  Such concentration-

When she was done I asked her what it said (so I could write the translation).

You see her response below....

Then she jumped off my lap and went on to play.

Still makes me giggle.

And she still won't tell me.

The things we take for granted

Ok, so maybe that title isn't the best for this post considering all of the things in our lives that we take for granted but for me, this is one of those things.

I have many meetings each month at St Joe's and Bethesda hospitals which are both located in/just outside of downtown St Paul.
I park in the ramp at St Joe's and today while getting into my car I looked up before backing out of my parking spot and saw this.
The cathedral is such a HUGE and breathtaking building and how often we hardly even notice it is there.

Today it stopped me in my tracks and I sat for a few minutes and just appreciated it's beauty and power.

Each time I am at Bethesda I see the capitol.  From many of the conference rooms at Bethesda you actually sit in a room that has this view.  Breathtaking!

One of these days my camera is coming to work with me.....

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!

Today was another day that actually felt like summer.

Yay!  It's finally here!

When I got home from work the girls were playing sweating in the driveway.

After dinner they wanted to go back out so while daddy mowed the lawn, we were playing. 

Tonight's treat = ICE CREAM!

seriously savoring every moment with that cone!

Does it really surprise me to find chocolate on her face? Of course we had to share our cone with her. Couldn't eat in front of her.

How is my heart not melted into nothing yet??!



Mom, I'm hot

It was 'Twins day' at Jackie's.
She told Brian about it the night before.  "Have the girls wear their Twins clothes, if they have any."
Brian told me.

Morning came, Hannah woke up talking about how her and Hailey needed to be Twins today.
"Then Jackie will see us and say 'You girls are twins- you look great'."
So, we found blue shirts and jean shorts and I dressed them like twins.
(at no point did the previous day's directions pop into my head)

We got to Jackie's and as soon as I saw her in her Minnesota Twins shirt my heart sank.
I turned and looked at Hannah, she realized what happened too and hung her cute little head.
"Oh sweetie- I am sorry, I forgot.  I will go home and get your Twins shirts.  Would you like that?"

Of course she took me up on that.
So, back to home I went to get the Minnesota Twins shirts.

Well, came home that night to find this....

"Mommy, I was hot."

Whatcha' paintin'?

Me:  "Hannah, whatcha' paintin'?"

Hannah:  "An abstract."

Me:  "An abstract?!  What is that?  (this one I knew but needed to hear her answer)"

Hannah: "You know, just colors and shapes and stuff."

Annual Pool Party

Today was the Nelson's annual pool party.
The Nelson's, the Palmer's, the Lindamood's, and the Parmley's used to live on the same block.  The Parmley's moved during the summer before Brian started 6th grade. 
Now all the neighborhood kids are grown up with kids of their own.
Each year the Nelson's host a pool party to get the families together.  

The weather was not nice this year, cold and windy, and just watching the kids in the pool made everyone shiver.  Like a trooper, Jennifer, swam with all the kids.  I brought my suit but it was way too cold for me to get in so even though I didn't want to put on my suit, I had a really good excuse this year.  Whew!



"Mommy, we got our own lunch!"



Here they are....the grandkids.  Good looking group!

Technology 0 Humans 1

While working at home today, in JUNE, I was listening to iTunes. 
My question to iTunes today: if you are smart enough to recognize my phone vs iPod vs Brian's phone vs Hannah's iPod vs the iTouch, and smart enough to set the time yourself as to when each song was last played, how many times it has been played, smart enough to recommend other songs based upon the songs that are in my library- then why oh why are you not smart enough to NOT play Xmas music during the shuffling of music?!
It's JUNE- you know that.  Why would I want Xmas music?!  and it's not even the Osmonds.... you claim to know me...

Hey now! Who gave you permission....??!

Little Miss Hailey- Who in the world gave you permission to grow up?!?

Tonight you were reaching for this bottle of water. Daddy handed it to you knowing that when you spilled it would just be water and you gotta learn sometime, right?!

Ok, not only did you know what to do but you did it like a champ!

Daddy was amazed watching you tilt the bottle back and then position your lips just perfectly to control the flow of water.

Moments like this make me sad.

Aren't we suppose to teach you those things?!

P.S.  PLEASE stop growing up!  Please?!

Another sign of the times...

Earlier this week Hannah and I were talking about what month it is and what month it would be next.
Hannah: 'It's July next month?!  Woo Hoo!  That is when Kas and Tin are coming to visit!"

Tonight after dinner the girls wanted to make a call to Kari, Andy, and the boys.  So, instead of picking up the phone and dialing the very long international number we got out the computer.
You see these days if you want to talk to someone you can just call them via Skype with your webcam and have a conversation with them while they are in the comfort of their own bedroom!
I get our little computer out and even Hailey goes crazy - running over to her chair, climbing right up to be a part of whatever is going on.

It's crazy really if you think about it.

Between email, Skype, Magic Jack, cell phones, landlines, postal mail, etc there is really no excuse for not talking to the Parades-Miller family more often.

Our first attempt wasn't very productive.  They didn't answer.  "Mom, that's ok, we will call Auntie Jennie instead!"  Luckily Jennie was home and quickly responded to my text.  The girls loved chatting with her and having a dance party.  During our call, Kari and the boys called us (after seeing our attempt) so we let Jennie go so we could answer (sorry Jen).

Just fine the way I am

Today we had an appt at Gillette Children's Hospital for a consult regarding Hailey's bowed legs.

We first noticed the bowing when she started walking around 12 months.

At that time it was easy to chalk it up to thick diapers and chubby legs/thighs but as time went on and she started slimming down, the legs were still bowing.  Sometimes when she would walk you could actually see her walk on the outside of her foot.

At her 15 month check up I asked Dr Prall about them.  He saw what we were concerned about, wasn't too concerned himself but also didn't want to overlook anything so we took an Xray and based upon those results decided to wait until her 18 month check up and check again.

At the 18 month check up we decided that even though she was looking like she was improving there was still a curve that we knew we should check out.

Even though I can see that her legs are bowed I have a hard time admitting it (to an extent).

I mean after all, that little girl is so adorable who cares about some crooked legs- you can hardly tell.

Well, I thought you could hardly tell but people comment on them all the time.

Her appt went great.  We saw Sarah Gutknecht at Gillette.  She meet with us, took a mini-history, examed her looking for strength, range of motion, etc.  We took new Xrays (on the left) and then met again to talk through the next steps.

Good news- she thinks that this will work itself out as Hailey grows.  She could not come to any conclusion that this was a genetic-disease or problem that was causing this.  Bones do not contain any defects.  She did not feel that there was any type of intervention that we needed to think about doing.

Only directions were to start a multi-vitamin to increase her Vitamin K level and follow up in 6 months.

(cutest little bowed legs you ever did see, right?!)

It goes like this

First I take it and pinch it like this.

Then I shobe (shove) it in my ear.

Then I twist it like this.

Then I 'ahhhhhh'.

That's how I do it mom.

Happy Daddy's Day!

Any man can father a child but it takes a special one to be a daddy!

We had my dad and sisters over for a BBQ tonight to celebrate Father's Day.

Brian made pulled pork and we had sandwiches, pasta salad (that was so yummy!), chips, dip, watermelon, beans, and Samoas ice cream with waffle cone cookies (yeah-for real) for dessert.

Everything was so good and it was a nice day to just be sitting outside hanging out in the driveway watching the kids play.  It was nice to see my dad, we don't see him near enough!

Sitting and watching the girls laugh and play is one of my favorite things to do.  I had another emotional moment tonight thinking about them and how lucky they are to have a daddy like Brian.  Someone who truly would do anything for them and will assure that they are protected and taken care of.  Someone who will rough house and play, cuddle and snuggle.  Someone who will give them TLC.

I am certain that they melt his heart as much as they do mine.

I sure wish I would have gotten a picture of the girls and Brian today....shoot!

What lies beneath

On Thursday night Shane was walking around his yard kicking up dead patches of grass. 

As he kicked away a patch near the driveway he uncovered this.

A nest of baby mice.  There were 7 total.

They were so tiny.  Their eyes were still fused shut and as we got closer you could hear them squeaking a little.  In the moment they looked so cute and so sweet and for a few minutes I felt so sad for them.  Their mom was nowhere to be found.  Sure they had each other but how could a mom just leave her seven new born babies in a hole in the ground!  Isn't she worried about them?  I wonder if she is watching us manhandle them right now and is feeling helpless or worse yet- what if she is so far away that she doesn't even have a clue about what is happening to them.  Poor things.

Yes, I realize the last couple of posts make me sound like a crazy lunatic....whatevs, we all got our stuff.

Ta-Da!

Tonight Brian was edging the driveway. 

Yardwork?!  Hannah was all over that.

She ran and got her gloves but couldn't find her flip flops.

She ran all over looking for them with no luck and eventually went in the house to see if they got placed in there somehow.  She came out with these on.  "Ta-Da mom! How I look?!"

How to entertain a toddler

Wanna entertain a toddler?

Give her a bubble wand and a lawn chair.

Hailey sat for about 5 minutes and dropped the bubble wand through the chair, bent over, picked it up, and did it again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  And again.  And again.

I need to get over this...

Do you ever do something and then realize how ridiculous you are?

I feel that way sometimes when I am deleting photos from my phone.

I take LOTS of pictures on my cell phone.  They are not good quality, they are nothing that I would want to print for a scrapbook or photo album.  Usually I use my phone to snap a quick picture for something that I want to blog about and since the quality is soooo bad I take lots of the same thing so that I have many to choose from.  Then I go through them every so often and realize that I have way too many on my phone (264 at the moment) and some need to get cleared out.  So far so good.  Then the big-huge-in-your-face-red-delete-this-memory-forever button shows up and for a few seconds I freeze.

The conversation in my head goes like this...

"You don't need this one, you blogged about this night already."

"But then again, look at it.  It's daddy and his girls and their shadows, what's the big deal if I just email it to myself to print or keep somewhere."

"Oh my gosh- I can't believe I am actually stopping to think about this- just delete it already!"

"But once it's gone, it's gone.  I can't get it back."

"It's not like you are deleting them, they are still here, it's just the picture.  You have millions. This is why you have the stress in your life that you have cause you can't let go- just delete this and move on, we have spent way too much time on this."

"Stop being crazy, let it go."

"I should really blog about this...."

Keep it down

Brian emailed me this picture from his cell phone.

He took it this past Saturday when we had gotten home from Cantebury Park and Hannah was having a meltdown on the couch whining and crying. 

Hailey was sleeping and apparently Hannah's behavior was bothering her too.

Her finger was actually in her ear plugging it...

Whatcha' Doin'?

Tonight Brian was trying to get some stuff done around the yard.  For the first ten minutes he was alone.  He could walk the hose up and down the driveway watering the side lawn.  Every so often he would be greeted by Hailey as he walked by (she was sitting in the Mustang- pretending to drive and listening to the radio).

Then the sun started to go down and his shadow came out.

"Daddy, whatcha' doin'?  Where are you going?  Why are you doing that?  I can help you." and so on...

Not sure exactly what happened but at one point I looked over to see Brian with a shovel digging into the yard (he needed to dig a patch out by the sprinkler head to make a repair).

Daddy's shadow didn't miss a beat.  "Daddy, you diggin' for treasure?"

Workin' hard for the money

Yesterday while the girls and I were at Aldi, Hannah got a quarter for putting the cart back.

(It's Aldis way of keeping costs down, you put a quarter in to unlock the cart and when you return it you get your cart back)

Ever since then Hannah has been talking about money.

This morning as her and daddy were talking about money, Brian told her that she could do some chores around the house to earn some money.

She cleaned her room, cleaned up the living room, and dried the silverware and put it away.

She earned a handful of change for all of those chores.  (I am not really sure how much she earned but it was somewhere around 60 cents per chore).

Then Hannah and daddy talked about what kinds of things she would be able to afford with her money.

This afternoon after Hailey went down for her nap, Hannah and I went to run some errands.

Our last stop was to PDQ so Hannah could buy a treat with her hard earned money.

She walked up and down the candy aisle a few times and then she spotted it.  A package of powdered sugar donuts.  "I want those!"

Then she said something that made my heart melt, "Do I have enough money to buy something for Hailey too?" 

She sure did so back to the candy aisle we went.  She picked her out some mini Reece's Peanut Butter cups.

I hope she stays this thoughtful and generous forever.  Sweet little thing.

A little something for everyone

Today we had a day that had a little something for everyone.

We started out at Canterbury Park for the Blazin' Belmont BBQ Weekend.

Along with the horse races there was a BBQ competition.  There were 62 teams competing for prizes up to $25,000.    As we walked around the parking lot we could peer into the tents of the competitors checking out their smokers and grills.  The presentations ranged from little tiny baby smokers to trailers that have been converted into full smoking kitchens complete with sinks!

There were some vendors selling 'que.

We caught the first race of the day and then walked around for a while longer before Hannah hit her limit and broke down.  We took her for a pony ride and at the entrance she started bawling.  She was 'scared', 'missed the horses', 'wanted to ride with somebody', 'didn't want to ride', you get the picture.

It was time to go.

Thankfully it wasn't exactly what we were expecting so neither Brian or myself were terribly upset about having to go.

Later that night as we were playing outside, Hannah and I had a great idea (well, we might have been prompted by daddy to think of it).

We went in around 9:00, the kids had a bath.  We popped some popcorn, packed up drinks, M&Ms, and headed up to Champin Plaza to watch the Father Hennepin Days Fireworks.

Hannah thought the fireworks were too loud but liked them.

Hailey loved them and the noise didn't bother her at all.

By the end of the night, Hailey was sitting on the tailgate of the truck holding Emerson (Hannah's baby that she was too cold to hold) and as the display lit the air Hailey would look at the baby and then point to the show.  It was so adorable.  I will never get over watching these girls play with their babies. 

It was nice to go and do that as a family, just us.

Father Hennepin Days

This weekend was the Annual Father Hennepin Days Festival.

The festival takes place one of the first two weekends in June every year.  West River Road is shut down and the community comes out for the first 'fair-style' carnival of the year.

One of the true kick offs to summer!

The festival is held just a few miles from our house.  This year we drove to Champlin Plaza and took a free shuttle across the street.  We started with a Merry-Go-Round ride.

Next up was the petting zoo.

Hannah usually wants to see the animals but then won't get close to them.

This year she wanted to feed this little guy.

"He's so cute!  Come here little buddy, I have some food for you."

Hailey was tall enough to go on some rides this year. 

Hannah and mommy got to go down the huge Fun Slide, we ate mini-donuts, another Merry-Go-Round ride, and then a few turns in the cars.   It was a nice little preview for some of the bigger 'fairs' coming up Anoka County and Minnesota.  

I feel pretty

Tonight the girls were looking for something to do.

"How about we paint the babies nails?"

"Sure, why not?  That sounds like a great idea!"

So we started with Emerson.

Then Disney Baby.

Hailey had to get involved too.

After all was said and done we Hannah and Hailey only made it through 4 babies.

Hailey decided it was time for a treat and thankfully Hannah followed to get her chocolate as well.

I can tell that this won't be the first time these babies visit the spa.

W1D3

Not really sure that I am really ready to be blogging about this.

Not really sure that I even want to blog about this.

Friday, May 27th I decided to start something that I have been planning/thinking/talking about since last (2009/2010) winter/spring.  I strapped my iPod to my arm, tied up my shoes and went for a walk/jog.

Karri Schnur tried a C25K (Couch to 5K) program a while ago and after talking to her and realizing that after the short 9 week training program she was running 3+ miles, I decided that I needed to give this a try.

I have been thinking about it since then and even got so brave as to buy an app that I could load on my phone.  It basically does everything - except the MOST important piece....getting your butt actually off the couch.

Through all of these months that I have been thinking and talking about it Karri has been running 5Ks, 10Ks, and most recently a 1/2 marathon!  So proud of her and yet so jealous!

Not really jealous that she is out running marathons and sweating but more jealous that she is motivated enough to try it, like it, and then continue to make huge progress. 

I have been full of excuses - I won't waste your time telling you all of them - I am finally tired.

I am tired of hearing myself say 'Tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the day.  No matter what."  I must have told myself that at least 200 times over the past 1 1/2 years.

Another thing (that frankly, I am not really ready/sure that I want to talk about) is that I joined Weight Watchers online in March.   Another thing that I had been telling myself for years that I was going to do.

It was finally time, I finally joined.  I started to see some immediate progress so it was very motivating to keep going.  I was very good for the first 9 weeks.  I was seeing the number on the scale consistently dropping.  Then on the 10th week I had actually gained a pound.  It was upsetting to me and so I decided to skip logging my weight for that day.  That led to stopping the tracking of what I eating and that led to 3 weeks of chaos.  Each week I was standing on the scale to see if that 1 pound I had gained was gone yet and when I would see that it wasn't I started my 'I'll start again tomorrow' attitude and before you know it three weeks had past and I wasn't feeling very proud about what I had set out to do.

That brings me to Friday, May 27th around 7:15 am.

My first day of an 11 day vacation.  After Brian and the girls left for daycare, I changed into something more comfortable, put in my headphones, started the C25K app and off I went.

This app is great!

• You can add your own songs to create a playlist.
• There are voice prompts telling you what to do (Walk, Run)
• There are voice prompts telling you when you have hit the halfway point
• The app lays it all out.  It's a 9 week program and all I have to do is start.  Once you have started the app does the rest.  It requires no thinking or planning from me.  Just needs me to actually press start

When I got to the last running segment of the program, my heels started to ache a little.  I could tell that I was going to have a blister.  Ouch! 

Well, I not only got one blister but both of my heels were blessed and they were extrememly painful.

Looks like I won't be running for a while...

That brings me to today.

Today I successfully completed the last day (Day 3) of the first week (Week 1)!

P.S.  I bought some new shoes that keep me blister-free

I haven't wanted to blog about it because I am not convinced yet that I am going to finish this program.

Running is not my favorite thing to do and the thought of running for 30 minutes+ straight makes me want to fall asleep.  I am not confident that I can do this.  I am sure going to try but blogging about it now makes it official.  Others will see what I have attempted and if I fail everyone will know.

I am not really concerned whether or not anyone cares if I fail - I have nothing to prove to you - this is about me.

I am feeling good about the track I am on.

I am feeling good about the efforts I am making.

I am feeling ok about the progress that I have made and feel motivated that I can meet my goals.

I am super fortunate to have such great support and positive feedback from Brian (LOVE YOU HONEY and Thank you).  This has been the most helpful and encouraging for me.

I am also very grateful for the positive comments and compliments that I receive from my coworkers.  You truly motivate me to keep going.  Your feedback is priceless right now, thank you.

For the others that I have talked to or shared my progress along the way, I appreciate having you to talk to as someone that I trust and someone I know isn't going to sit by judging my every move.

You asked for it!

First of all I have to give credit to Patty for this picture.  While she was melting away on her couch tonight watching TV she thought that this might be something that we (myself, Lori, and Loriann) would like to blog about.  After all, it is history.  Always thinking about us!

Today was hot.  Nasty hot.

Only in Minnesota

• 4 weeks ago there was still snow on the ground
• Today 21 roads buckled due to the heat
• Later this week it will be in the 60's, possibly 40's overnight

Wonder what we did to Mama Nature?!  She seems pissed.

Remember me?

Today is my first official day back in the office since I left there 11 days ago.

When I was leaving that Thursday afternoon I had made a commitment that I was not going to work and obsessively check my email while I was away.

I can't admit to never checking email but I will say that I was very proud of myself.

I skimmed my email each day and deleted the items that I knew that I wasn't going to need to read.  I looked at a small few from a few certain senders and tried not to respond unless necessary or it was so quick that after a response I could delete.

The best sign however was this morning when I had to open my trunk to get my work bag.  It had sat here all week waiting for me to return.

Meals on Wheels

Once again...

Nice day = swimsuits, sunscreen, water

This weather has been so great!

Turn off the wind

Today while driving in the car I had the windows down.

Apparently Hailey wasn't too fond of the wind in her hair.

About 30 seconds later we came to a stop sign and as I turned around to get a better picture I saw that she was sleeping. 

Now, let's talk about those adorable little toddler arms!

The wrists and the elbows....so adorable I just want to kiss her to pieces!

A bouncing we will go

Bouncing-Biking-Freezie-Swimming season is officially open!

It was so fun to bring the girls home from daycare and ask them if they wanted to get out the bouncer.

Hailey of course yells out 'YEAH!"

Obviously not having any idea what I was talking about but seeing Hannah so excited, monkey still sees and monkey still dos (I don't think dos is a word but sounds better than does).

We got the bouncer out and the girls jumped for 5 min straight. 

Then Hailey was over it and Hannah wanted her babies.

They turned the bouncer into their house.  The babies had their bottles out, they went in and out the door waving bye to the other as they strolled away.

Tonight also kicked off the Friday night summer routine.

The next door neighbor's grandson, Brody, comes over and we usually spend the evening in the driveway with drinks and snacks, talking while the kids play.  Tonight instead of the usual bike parade the kids were playing with the hose and in the sprinkler. 

I have to say it was a much easier night on my heart. 

I didn't spend the evening gasping and clutching my chest watching Brody, the daredevil, zip around the driveway on his bike.  Makes me thankful for a few minutes that I have girls....but really just a few minutes.

The kids have so much fun together and it has been much fun watching them grow up over the past year.

Tonight as the kids were playing in the water, Hailey was a little unsure of just how wet she wanted to get.  She was fine being by the hose.  Real fine holding it and for a few moments actually poured a little bit on her tummy.  She would squat done next to the kids, hold the hose and fill her buckets but as soon as the kids starting spraying each other she would take off in the other direction.  At one point Hannah told her (in a very caring, sweet-motherly type of tone) "Hailey, it's just water.  It won't kill you."

The Big Green Egg

Meet the Big Green Egg.

The Big Green Egg is Brian's true love.

The EGG is a unique barbecue product, with unmatched flexibility and capabilities that surpass all other conventional cookers combined. It is a smoker, a grill and an oven and you can cook literally any food on it year round, from appetizers to entrees to desserts.

Here are some of the benefits of the Big Green Egg:

•Fast lighting -- ready to cook in 10 minutes with no lighter fluid

•Ceramic walls retain heat with accurate temperature control and no hot spots

•Fuel efficient so there is no need to add more charcoal while cooking; unburned

charcoal can be reused

•Constant tending not required; with enclosed cooking there are no

grease flare-ups

•Withstands temperature extremes from below 0° to 1800°F

•Can be used year around, even in freezing temperatures and rain

•Surface stays cooler and is safer around children than metal grills

•Weatherproof ceramics won't rust

•Handsome, decorative and unique design

•Produces the juiciest, most succulent food you'll ever taste

Seriously - you can read it for yourself on their website.  No- but for real.- I do agree with the last statement there.  The food that comes off of that grill is a-m-a-z-i-n-g!  I am sure that most of it is the cook so that heavy egg shaped thing isn't getting all of the credit but I do have to admit that food cooked on that grill just tastes better.

We Brian uses the EGG almost every night to make dinner.  From steak to chicken to corn on the cob to pizzas.  Mmmmmm, just writing about it makes me hungry.

This won't be the last you see or hear about the Big Green Egg (or if your lucky- taste).

For today? Yes. For ever? No.

Today was my first real day of vacation- the day that I had been dreaming about since May 7th.

My scrapbooking day!

Sure I have had days off but they were consumed with running errands, cleaning the house, sorting through things, going to the lake, laundry, etc.  Today was the first day ALL FOR ME.  Wasn't going to leave the house.  Wasn't going to turn on the TV.  Just me and my paper.

It didn't go so well.

I got started around 8:00 am.

Where to start?  Hmmmm, since I am real far behind on Hailey's book I figured that that would be a good place to get started.

Ultrasounds pics.  We have a good story with all that we went through, etc.  We have lots of ultrasound pictures, perfect.  I will start there.  Now only if I could find where I put the details of those horrific days after we found out we were pregnant......

No luck.  I thought I had kept the links to the baby site that I was updating on.  I thought I had printed or kept the emails that I had sent to friends and family.  Not anywhere to be found.  *sigh*

During the process I emailed Kari and within an hour or so she was able to dig up a few emails and things that will help once I find the inspiration to go back to that page.

Ok, I know, I will start on Hailey's room then jump into her month by month pages. 

I got my Diet Coke, opened the windows, turned on the iPod and sat.  I sat and stared at the pictures, the supplies, the computer.....nothing.  Is this was creators block feels like?

I thought if I looked through a book or some paper that I would get inspired.  No such luck.

I have not one idea.  Not even one.

No layout ideas, no color schemes I wanted to try.  Couldn't even find one embellishment cute enough to motivate me.  I spent the better part of the day frustrated.

Maybe I just need to go through my pictures and sort out the pictures that I want to use and decide once and for all which pages I even want or need to make instead of trying to jump right in.....make my time worthwhile.  That didn't go so well either.

I have stacks and stacks and stacks of pictures.  (and stacks)

I started getting a headache.  Then I started thinking to myself what I NEVER thought I would EVER think.

What is the point of this?  Why am I scrapbooking when I am blogging?!

Why am I spending all of this time putting together a book of taped down photographs when I can blog and tell stories (with pictures) that I can later print.

I am feeling defeated today.

I actually had to think - am I done scrapbooking?  Am I over it? 

For today? Yes. For ever? No.

As I started putting my things away to get ready to go and get the girls, I remembered that I have to go into work tomorrow and suddenly my mood changed.  I have a pit in my stomach and am starting to feel anxious.

Wonder what that means?