You make it real for me

There's so much craziness, surrounding me

There's so much going on, it gets hard to breathe

When all my faith has gone, you bring it back to me

You make it real for me

When I'm not sure of, my priorities

When I've lost site of, where I'm meant to be

Like holy water, washing over me

You make it real for me

And I'm running to you baby

You are the only one who saved me

That's why I've been missing you lately

Cause you make it real for me

Lyrics from You Make it Real for Me    by James Morrison



I called the doctor around 9 weeks to talk to her about whether or not I should do the Lovenox injections with this pregnancy.  She decided that it would be best if I came in and had an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy and at that time we could discuss whether or not the injections were necessary.

After the ultrasound, I waited in the waiting room for about 45 minutes until the doctor was finally ready to meet with me.  When the doctor walked in she asked me how long I had been bleeding.  I informed her that I wasn't bleeding, I just wanted to know whether or not to do the injections again.  She then informed me that she saw something on the ultrasound that needed further testing.  She thought she saw a birth defect. 

According to the doctors there were two possibilities.  Either an omphalocele or a gastrochisis.  The doctor told me at that time to prepare for the worst and to start thinking about my options.  She told me that she thought that I had a less than 10% chance of delivering a healthy baby.  We were devastated.

Brian and I talked and decided that we were going to have every test possible to assure that we had a diagnosis.  We needed to know everything before we even considered 'worst case scenario'.  We had lots of appts, lots of ultrasounds, meet with lots of doctors at a lot of clinics and after about 4 months we finally had confirmation that Hailey was going to be born and she was going to be healthy. 

Words can not describe how I felt during that time and words can not describe how we felt once we had the good news. 

I played this song almost every day on my drive to work and on my drive home during those 4 months and each and every time I thought about the baby that I hadn't met yet.  I thought about how much she had changed me as a person before I had even held her.