There is something about having a big sister that is hard to explain. You big sis will teach you things as you grow up and I have to admit, sitting here at 30 years old, I thought I was pretty much done with learning from her. Once again, I am wrong.
My sister has taught me how to take a chance. How to live your life to accomplish what you want, not what someone else had in store for you. In 1995 my sister was married to her 'foreign-exchange student boyfriend from highschool'. This is how we described how my sister ended up calling Quito, Ecuador her home. Kari and Andres moved to Ecuador where they have since bought a house and started a beautiful family.
I will be honest, when she first moved I felt abandoned. How could my sister leave me? Didn't she know that she was leaving us? Didn't she know that she was going to miss everything? What was she doing? Over the years, I have not written. I have not called. I have not emailed her. I have only visited her twice. (What kind of sister am I?)
Andres is an amazing person. He is brillant, funny, kind, has an incredible ability to share information and to keep you interested in learning from him, he is a father, friend, son, brother, and husband. My brother-in-law is the best that I could ask for. He has taken care of my sister and has taught her so much about life. He has inspired her to do things that she was always capable of doing, but he gave her a reason. I love him for that. I love him not only for who he is but for who he has made my sister become. How he has supported her.
Now that I am married I understand how you could leave your family, the family you knew for 18 years to start one of your own. Your husband becomes your family, your children make your house a home. Your mother, father, sisters, grandparents, etc...this famiy is important in your life. They will always be there. They will always love you but they judge your actions. It is not fair of them to 'clip your wings' so that they can keep you close by. It is too bad that those in life who love you most have no way of showing it.
My sister Kari is a teacher, a writer, a mother, a daughter, a friend, a granddaughter, a sister. I love reading my sisters emails and blogs. She has a way of writing that makes me feel that I am in the story with her. I can read her expression and her feelings. I can see the expressions on her face. I can imagine the points in the story when her hand itches her nose and then she adjusts her glasses. The way her eyes get huge when she is telling you something scandalous.
She loves secrets and even though I am sure that it hurts, she loves to hear about what is happening 'back home'. What is the weather like, what did you do this weekend? What have you bought recently? All of these little pleasures in life that we take for granted are the very things that she will return home for.
It is easy for all of us to think that Kari is missing out, not being 'home'. What I realize is that we are missing out. I have two nephews that don't even know me. I have a brother-in-law that I don't get to spend time with. I have not seen my sister's new home or furniture. I haven't babysat my nephews.
My sister has taught me to take chances. Do something that you want to do. Get married and move to Ecuador--how brave my sister is.
I am also a big sister. I hope that I am a good one. Since my sister Kari has been out of the country, I have assumed the role as the 'second in charge'. Our parents seperated and later divorced and I felt as though I needed to hold everyone together. Keep everyone on good terms. On holidays, I try to assure that my little sisters are buying gifts and that they have what they need to contribute to the festivities. When there is a family outing, I am 'in charge' of organizing everyone together. I especially miss Kari in these moments.
My sister has taught me a lot about life and about who I am. I am envious of her and I am glad that she is who she is.
I have not done the best job of keeping in touch with my big sis but I hope that I can get better at it. I miss her everyday.
1 comment:
Amy - you are the only one who keeps in touch! haha.
Well, you are the best second big sister and you do a much better job than I ever would have. Everyone looks up to you and respects you. Thank you for making me feel better about my decision to live here - although I KNOW I am missing out and have missed out on so much. My life just feels like a blur on some days - like I don't know who I am or where I am and why I am there.
*Sigh* Sorry that life has no easy answers for us, and that as the world gets smaller, it actually gets bigger, as more and more of us move away from home under the false pretense that we can communicate just as well 3500 miles away. I don't really regret living in Ecuador, but I do regret not being able to spend daily life with my sisters, because you guys (aside from my own little family) are my life, and always have been. (Did you even know that?)
Post a Comment